Must buy new neighbors

T moved out. M is humming. Patterson suspiciously absent most of the time. New neighbors below stairs and have not yet met them. I can, however, see their balcony from mine. When weather warms, will have to "accidentally eavesdrop" for more information. My neighbors have been less than compliant in entertaining me.

Work competition with odd bean growth is pointless. My bean has not grown. Think I must find someone to shag in order to stave off winter blahs. Perhaps that bartender--

Note to self: "Mia, participate in college charity program: shag a frat boy."

Research

Volunteered at work again, Saturday. Decided to do shagging research for next book at local pub. Discovered no matter how one gets thrown against a wall, it is neither romantic nor comfortable. After two clumsy attempts by fellow, left him with pants down in the lady's. Anonymous shagging will have to occur at later date. Will not reduce myself to men breathing hops onto breasts. Unpleasant at best.

Note to self: "Mia, talk to T down the hall. Request recommendation for love-mark leaving chap."