Review!

Happy New Year to me. I got a Literary Nymphs Review in my inbox yesterday. So of course I had to share.

She’s Got Balls
Publisher: Resplendence Publishing
Publisher URL: http://www.resplendencepublishing.com/
ISBN: 978-1-60735-090-3
Genre: {M/M} Paranormal, Contemporary, Erotic
Rating: 5 Nymphs
Literary Nymphs Reviewer: Scandalous Minx

When rookie Agent Chris Tarpington is handpicked for an undercover assignment, he didn’t anticipate wearing heels and an ugly dress. Being in drag may not be what he wants, but Chris knows not to tick off his superiors by voicing his complaint too loudly. Getting his new husband/partner on edge is a whole ‘nother story.

Detective Vin Pilk is a big man and commands respect without uttering a word. His superb record could grant him a wide selection of partners, but Vin knows the two departments put him with Chris for a reason.

What happens when the FBI teams up with local law enforcement? Sparks fly, and the criminals won’t know what hit them because the hot woman they sent in… well She’s Got Balls.

Mia Watts, I bow down to the generosity that is you. This is an excellent story filled to the brim with scenes and one-liners you won’t soon forget. I absolutely loved Chris and Vin, and refuse to choose between the two men. They have a ying-yang quality that makes their romance appealing. Vin has the biggest heart, shielded by that deliciously large frame. Chris is sarcastic enough to keep their days from ever becoming mundane. Together, oh the heat rolls off the page in Tsunami proportions. Ms. Watts adds humor, action and suspense to this well developed storyline to create another winner.

I'm a little in love with Scandalous Minx. Any wonder?

Yessir, another one

Title: She’s Got Balls
Author: Mia Watts
Author’s website: http://www.miawatts.com/
Publisher: Resplendence Publishing, LLC
Release Date: November 2009
ISBN: 978-1- 60735-090-3
Length: Novella
Format: Electronic
Genre: Contemporary GLBT
Source: R
Sensuality Level: 3
Rating: 4

Reviewed by: BD Whitney (Bookwenches)

When FBI rookie Chris Tarpington is assigned an undercover narcotics operation cooperating with the local police force, he is less than pleased to find out that he and the police detective, Vincent Pilk, will be posing as a heterosexual couple. Newbie or not, he’ll be damned if he’s going to dress up like a woman; Detective Pilk will just have to wear the falsies and heels. But then Chris meets Vin, who has to be at least six foot five, is built like a brick outhouse, and has the pleasant disposition of a pit bull. Like it or not, Chris is about to get up close and personal with pantyhose and hot wax to infiltrate a suburban housewife drug ring.

Chris may be wildly attracted to Vin, but he’s pretty sure the guy’s not gay. Or is he? The man certainly seems to enjoy the kiss they put on for the benefit of the suburban housewives, but it is also entirely possible that he’s playing the role just to yank Chris’s chain. Chris knows one thing, though: this undercover business is dangerous, because if the panties don’t kill him, his lust for his partner surely will.

********

So what, aside from the lovely young man on the cover, drew me to read this story? The title, of course! When I picked this novella up, I figured that there was no way that any story titled She's Got Balls could possibly take itself seriously. And I was right. She’s Got Balls by Mia Watts is a quick and humorous read that revolves around the running gag of a man in a dress. Or, rather, a man trying to deal with torturous panties and the crimp that they put in his out-of-control libido. This story is cute, funny, sexy, and just plain fun.

She's Got Balls features two irresistible heroes that you can’t help but love. Both are very manly men, but one of them is doomed to spend a lot of time in a dress. Chris is clever, irreverent, mouthy, pushy and constantly has sex on his mind. He might not want to play the girl, but he throws himself into the role completely and is very quick study. It’s very entertaining to watch him try to be “one of the girls” because he is such a man. Vin, who gets to be “the man” of their couple because of his size and physique, is actually the kinder and gentler of the two. He tends to hold his emotions close to his chest, and although he puts up a tough-guy front, he has a softer side that is in direct contrast.

The interaction between the main characters strikes sparks along with being humorous. These two are definitely an “odd couple.” Chris’s goads Vin incessantly just for the pleasure of watching the man react, calling him Gigantor and suggesting that his momma fed him growth hormones, and all the while he just wants to get into his pants. Vin, despite first impressions, is the more even-keeled of the two. When he decides to make his move, however, he is definitely the one in control of the situation. And oh, what control he has. This man definitely knows how to put a pair of gag-gift fuzzy handcuffs to work for him.

I was a little disappointed that the investigation in this story did not receive more attention, because I think She’s Got Balls would have benefited from a little more “meat” in the story and would have made a more effective novel than novella. The investigation seems more of a vehicle to bring the two main characters together and an excuse to get Chris into drag rather than being a true plot device. Regardless, this is a cute and fun story. It tickled me and made me grin, and I thought it was definitely worth the reading time.

--Bobby

THANK YOU, BOBBY!

And the baskets you have a chance of winning are...

The gift basket contest is coming to an end! Tomorrow She's Got Balls releases from Resplendence and marks the last day of the contest. Names will be drawn from commentors and those who have purchased an item at LadySParty using the special gift code found in Mind F*cked! Get your name in before the deadline, 11:59p CST tomorrow! Put a naughty smile on your face in time for Christmas.

The Girl's Basket:

The Boy's Basket:

The Couple's Basket:

melting mia? I think not...

Financial reports annoy me. You would think that being someone who appreciates order, who keeps a log of hours and a calendar for projects of all sorts, I'd enjoy the columns and rows of an excel spreadsheet. Not so. While I'm not incompetent with creating formulas for data, I protest the idea that excel can issue a "bad girl, no no Mia" bong if it doesn't like my information. If it were human, I could appeal to its logic. I could convince it WHY column E5 and C5 can be multiplied with G5 to get the result I wish for and NO IT BLOODY WELL ISN'T CIRCULAR!

I am considering a lovely outing with my laptop, Oscar. I rather think he will enjoy a swim about now.

Other shit: I'm awaiting the cover for Mind F*cked. I saw the proof and it is possibly the best cover I've ever had. I cannot wait to share it with you. I'm especially pleased because I picked out the gents on the cover by attaching their stock photo links to my cover request. And the script is stellar.

Other-er shit: My editor, Courtney, sent me edits of both Mind F*cked and She's Got Balls this morning. Both are to be completed and submitted this week. This is the same week I am to be well into Faery Surprising, a book I haven't begun yet. Well, not exactly true. I've begun it but word counts under 1k don't matter.

Other-er-er shit: My other editor, Michele, has asked me if I'm on schedule for the three books TEB would like to see. As I am yet completing Melting Melinda (and had planned to be finished Sunday), have not started the other two (needed January and March) I should say, "No, dearest editor, I am not." HOWEVER, my lovely calendar had allowed some leeway this summer of six weeks, knowing that the boss had many long hours planned for my day job. I'm pleased I did that because where I might have been far off schedule, I am merely smack on. Huzzah!

I'm eating my pork loin sandwich, lays chips, and washing it down with cool milk. I know it's early for lunch but I missed breakfast and I'm starving. And. bored of math. I've already seen my boss glare at me twice so I had best finish up and return to work.

excerpt: She's Got Balls

by Mia Watts
Releasing November 17th from ResplendencePublishing.com

“Don’t forget to tuck ’em, sweetheart.” Agent Jennings slapped Chris Tarpington’s shoulder. “God, I love fresh rookie meat.”

Chris tried to smile good-naturedly, but really he wanted to storm out of the sector office and slam things.

“What are you complaining about? Your first op and you get to go undercover with the local police farce,” Mathis shouted after Chris, not even trying to cover his booming laughter.

“Swing your hips, Tarp. Hold your chest out,” Jennings coached, joining in.

I’m going to fucking annihilate this case, Chris thought. No fucking way would he be humiliated on his first big assignment by dressing in drag. The detective assigned with him would have to take that honor. He smiled in grim determination.

Clutching the case file in a white knuckled grip, he stormed through the office to the public area and the conference room where his new partner waited. Some of the desk jockeys snortled as he walked by. He shot them each personally designed death glares.

“You’re the big guy now, aren’t you Tarp?” one of them mocked as he passed. “Or is that big gal?”

“Don’t get your panties in a bunch,” another of Chris’ old co-workers quipped. “Those big girl panties can bind.”

By the time he got the conference room, his shoulders felt tight. God, what a nightmare. Chris steeled himself with a deep breath and brushed the blond strands, obscuring one eye, off his forehead.

He almost snorted. Detective Vincent Pilk didn’t know it yet but the tables were gonna turn. Detective Pilk would be wearing the dress through this op and Chris would let him think it was an honor to do it. With a new plan firmly lined up, he swept into the conference room to tell Pilk how things were going to be.

“Aw, shit!” Plans crashed into a heap and spontaneously burst into flame. This? This was Detective Vincent Pilk? A man whose name inspired visions of protruding Adam’s apple, knobby knees, and sailor suits? “Damn it! You’re a fucking bull.”

Broad shoulders, dark curling hair, and a tight ass turned slowly, with a demeanor of being inconvenienced. Pale blue eyes zeroed in on Chris with laser intensity as mocking dark brows rose in arrogance. Full, chiseled lips quirked upward higher on one side than the other. All together he looked to be patiently amusing Chris’ perusal, taking his initial assessment in stride.

There was no way on God’s green Earth a man with the shoulder span and arm size of Vincent Pilk could put on a dress. Wide chest narrowed to lean hips and a runner’s legs. And two hundred twenty or forty pounds of red-blooded American linebacker physique swallowed Chris’ five foot, eleven height and slammed it down with another six inches, easy.

“How the hell do you detect anything without being spotted?” Chris wondered aloud. He circled the Detective, shaking his head. “You’d make one fugly woman.”

Pilk folded his arms across his chest, looking more immovable by the second as his smile disappeared. Amusement still twinkled in his blue eyes set in the olive complexion of pure Italian heritage complete with high cheekbones, square jaw, and what looked like a permanent five o’clock shadow. A pale scar curled from the side of his bottom lip toward the point of his chin and stopped just shy of a barely noticeable cleft. Chris would have to be an idiot to force the dress issue.

“Is this a set-up?” Chris laughed suddenly realizing the sector guys had pulled a good one on him. “It’s a fucking set-up. Shit, for a minute there, I thought you were my ops partner. I mean, shit, what were they thinking, right? I could just see you tottering around in red heels and talking about your latest casserole recipes.”

Tears streamed from the corner of Chris’ eyes. He slapped his hip and peeled in another round of laugher.

“Oh, God, this is amazing!” Chris wiped his eyes and shook his head to show he was duly impressed. “You’re amazing. I mean, God, look at you. A gigantic body-guard with attitude is just what I need in a fucking wife. Damn, I sure as hell wouldn’t fuck you in a dress, Vincent.”

The breath slammed out of his body. Chris’ feet dangled off the floor and two meaty fists wadded his shirt as the wall pressed unforgivingly against his shoulders and head. “What the fuck?” he gasped.

Pilk’s stony face, and inch from Chris’ nose, snarled. “You’re a foulmouthed asshole who talks too much. You’re careless and stupid and you will never, ever, ever call me Vincent again.”

Chris’ eyes widened. “Sure, okay,” he gasped.

“My name is Vin, are we clear rookie?”

“Clear,” Chris’ voice came out strained and wispy. “Can I come down now?”

As acid on the skin

It burns! It burns!

I went swimming at a friend's pool. Cloud cover and rain would have suggested this a bad idea, except I was determined to enjoy myself. Swimming in the rain is a pleasure, by the way, unless you get electrocuted. Then I can't imagine it would be. But during the spots of only moderate cloud cover, I acquired more than my share of sun on my legs. Now there is pain.

Other shit: She's Got Balls is winding down. I expect to finish it today, fix it up and format the thing and turn it in to my editor. Then it's on to the next project. It's as yet untitled. I would imagine the appropriate words will come to me when I need them. Let's hope, shall we?

Other-er shit: I'm re-reading a book by Bronwyn Green in my free time. She has a unique ability to capture emotion and distill it into a near-tangible mist, substantiating it for the reader in new ways. Kudos Ms. Green.

Note to self: "Mia, find the aloe, apply liberally. Under no circumstances are you to wear hosiery or slacks to work today."

Got Cover?

I received my new cover art. The book is She's Got Balls and will release on November 17th this year. She's Got Balls is part of a series from Resplendence, Handcuffs and Lace. All the book covers have four common elements: a couple shot, a color wash, a pair of high heels, and a pair of cuffs.

Most of the others who write in this line have male/female plots. I, however, do not. Because of this, I specifically requested a different set of shoes and handcuffs and provided pictures to Rika, cover-bestower goddess. To fully appreciate the humor of the situation, I am posting what the cover art for this series should look like, above.

Now see what I actually got. It's perfect, complete with mud on the boots. Title and picture provide exactly the tone I wanted. Male/male, police, undercover... with kink. I could not have asked for a better cover. What say you?

Other shit: The second book in the Darkness series is temporarily delayed. I've been working through that particular mess these last couple of weeks. It is unfortunate that the book has to wait while I work out the last details. Never fear, I have assistance and this should all come to an end soon. I'll keep you posted on the status of that particular bit.

Other-er shit: R was arrested. That charming boy-child who smokes near the back dumpster? Yes, that one. He was picked up on possession. His parents are distraught and I believe they are calling in the older brother to have a sit down with Junior after he is released. J, his mother, was quite upset and disclosed the entire story. Seems this is his first offense.

Poor R will have to deal with the police and guilt-ridden family. I wonder at the thought of calling home a sibling to handle a matter the parents haven't felt adequate addressing, and this the first time. What will transpire on his second or third... assuming there is one?

Note to self: "Mia, don't have children. You'll ruin them by actually parenting instead of transferring blame or handing off problems when they arise."

RELEASE DATE WHORE

I am one. If there's an open release date dangling in the wind, I'm the one who's going to lob in there and snatch it (pardon the pun). Recently, fabulous and extraordinary publishing house Resplendence gave me a release date choice with other authors. The majority chose the extended date and we were given January 2010.

Being true to myself and ever so professional, I whined. Good natured, I assure you, to the senior editor who had initially presented the dates. She's a friend and laughed, as was intended. However, she also came back with an offer. If I could come up with a short story to fit their Handcuffs and Lace line, they had an opening for me on November 17th this year.

Being true (note paragraph above and first paragraph in reference to my whoredom) I said, "Mine." The next email requested a proposal and a title. Hm. Harder. Yet prevailing on toward the satisfaction of my Jon (the senior editor who wanted to see me paid), come up with a proposal I did. My exact words were:

Um, might kick myself later, but I'm in. I'm going for M/M. I don't have a full proposal yet, but the idea is they are cops... one FBI one local authority (because I like the tension between the two branches) assigned to work together in an undercover operation. One of the guys has to go drag (much hilarity ensues with running jokes and sarcasm and "who's your daddy"). Right now I'm thinking it has to be a suburban drug ring run by housewives (like Weeds but not) and they are staked out in a cookie cutter house (like Stakeout but also not). Did I vague that up enough? Will it fly?

To which she then requested a title. Bugger.

I provided the standard five with mild humor and appeal. I liked Dragged and He's My Girl. Senior editor requested more. By the end of a second list I, in typical form, loaded the list with joke titles. Cocked Up, Cop A Feel, She's Got Balls, and a few more.

On Friday the winning candidate was chosen: She's Got Balls.

I'm so proud. Actually, it's growing on me (pardon the nasty visual) and perfectly suits the story, no? No, it's okay to groan. Just do it all together in chorus... one, two, three....!!

Note to self: "Mia, give senior editor a friendly slap on the ass. You've got to appreciate a publisher with a sense of humor."