Mia, the bad influence

Spent weekend in total debauchery. Must now resume girding of work appropriate nature and attire. However, am somewhat reluctant to give in to rigor and shall see what mischief I might find. Do not have new hires today as they are beyond my department. Is unfortunate as I had much more to stoke fires of fear.

Will go in to work early for the purpose of kidnapping neighboring co-worker's Beanie Baby. Plan to bind and gag, photograph, and issue ransom note. Perhaps lay tiny dildo across its aqua lap.

Note to self: "Mia, ransom note should indicate urgency and sum payable in red M&Ms. See if Mi (from apartment complex) can be brought in to assist as is in dire need of excitement not involving raised vocal objections from live-in-mother, Ma."