Spent weekend in total debauchery. Must now resume girding of work appropriate nature and attire. However, am somewhat reluctant to give in to rigor and shall see what mischief I might find. Do not have new hires today as they are beyond my department. Is unfortunate as I had much more to stoke fires of fear.
Will go in to work early for the purpose of kidnapping neighboring co-worker's Beanie Baby. Plan to bind and gag, photograph, and issue ransom note. Perhaps lay tiny dildo across its aqua lap.
Note to self: "Mia, ransom note should indicate urgency and sum payable in red M&Ms. See if Mi (from apartment complex) can be brought in to assist as is in dire need of excitement not involving raised vocal objections from live-in-mother, Ma."
7 comments:
You should post the beanie hostage pictures here, too.
Had considered it. Have the bear in hand. Will bind and gag tonight.
And duct tape. Don't forget the duct tape. Silver, if you're into the classics.
wv: gratagui
gratuitous gooey
Perhaps you could find a substitute beanie baby and cut off one paw, wrap it in some post-its and leave it on her chair. "If you ever want to see your bear again..."
Silver duct tape is passe, J. Perhaps with glitter and faux fur? Must remember never to piss off Rassles. Quite clever, that one.
Not much call for a tiny dildo, is there?
No, Gypsy. I quite agree. Even if I had continued with W's bear, the giant purple light up would have been obscene poking its tiny ass. Not a wholesome picture to have a child's animal with huge pulsing cock employed. Could not have brought myself to do it once the bear's identity was discovered.
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