Thursday, January 29, 2009

Lint: a second query

Wrote during office hours yesterday. Have decided to write scene involving copier. Haven't decided if resulting copy will be a top or bottom shot. Also examined dryer lint trap. Agree lint is dominantly blue. Next question: Why do men get lint in button, but not women? Is lint electro-magnetically charged to male chemistry?

Have decided to post another except tomorrow. Any requests?

Note to self: "Mia, yesterday entirely too boring. Write anonymous love notes to male next over everyday for rest of week. Then stop with no explanation. Watch fun ensue."


J said...

I will mostly likely be hunted down and eliminated for revealing this secret, but it's true: Men inhale through their navel to pump oxygen into their penis when they get erections. All that stuff about penis' being engorged with blood? Nonsense. Inflatable.

The resulting suckage inevitably pulls some lint in that gathers at the opening of the navel. The more erections a man gets, the more navel lint he accumulates.

It's all true, I swear.

Mia Watts said...

Knew it! Have always suspected men completely full of hot air. Had never realized condition extended to lower extremeties. However, does not explain size differential in males or my insistant requests for some to make it bigger. Must I always result to cunniligus?

On button subject, have often debated the wisdom of females with hoop pierced naval engaging in intercourse with barbell studded males. Whether at waist or lower, recipe for disaster.

Julia said...

Perhaps the bigger the navel the bigger the erection? Is there a correlation? I'm more concerned about how socks manage to disappear into the dryer. Is there another dimension that attracts only socks?

Mia Watts said...

Indeed. A man's pants. Have known several men with absconded socks, all pressed into questionable employment below beltline. May be result of inflationary problems.

A supposition.

All other possibilites decidedly non-erotic and therefore could not be reason. Unless crabby neighbor is passive aggressive and means to induce insanity.

Or: spy socks recalled from mission field.

J said...

I believe studies have proven that the smaller the navel, the bigger the erection. Large navals tend to provide leakage. As the penis fills up with air, it increases the pounds per square inch, and pushes air back toward the navel. The stronger the abs, the more a man can keep that air in and maintain an erection, and the smaller the navel, the slower any air might leak out.

It's really all simple science.

I can only speak for myself, but I have never pressed a sock into questionable employment in my pants. That I am aware of. While sober.