Wednesday, June 9, 2010

General WTFerky

I'm an awesome auntie. I take them places all the time because they're great kids. So I took my nieces to McDonald's the other night and the little one got a Happy Meal.

Now in our society where weight has become a driving issue, where your size drives up the cost of medical coverage so much that some plans offer coverage for weight loss program costs, where even the Happy Meal gets a choice of apples instead of fries, what kind of insanity has hit Mickie D's toy distributors?

My little niece pulled out her tiny tot toy (or whatever they're called) and excitedly ripped open the wrapper to find a Shrek toy. This might not be so bad, except that they toy was FAT Puss In Boots. Like Huge, enormo, filled her little hand and the toy's head was eeny weeny, fat Puss In Boots. As in, he was so huge that the toy had to lay down as even it's inadequate plastic legs couldn't have held it up.

Puss, the role model for healthy America.

Way to advertise your food selections, MD!

On the plus side, my street cred it growing pleasantly. Yesterday I got hit on by a cop. A very cute cop. I didn't know that's what he was until we started chatting, but I discovered something new. Apparently, I have kissable lips that make his tummy dive bomb and my eyes are mesmerizing.

Good to know. I think I'll put that on my resume.

I know you'd be disappointed if I didn't follow up his flattery, so I asked him to please use his handcuffs on me the next time he was in uniform.

11 comments:

Julia Rachel Barrett said...

Oooh, cop? Could be yummy. You sure he's a cop and not just a wanna be cop handing you a line of bull? Ask to see his ID and then check with his precinct.

Mia Watts said...

Yeah, I'm sure. I checked him out. He was a Marine, then a patrol cop. Now he is special projects to the community director. LOL.

And the pictures are things I put together from a generic "paint" program on my computer. You like?

Amber Skyze said...

Hmmm, will he use his night stick on you too?

Mia Watts said...

Only if that's a euphemism. I'm not the spanking sort, or the bludgeoning-within-an-inch-of-my-life sort, for that matter.

Chris said...

You're not following up?!

Mia Watts said...

Of COURSE I'm following up. ;) He's damn fine and I see nothing wrong with using my mesmerizing mind windows to get some snooky out of a cop. Seriously? That's like the best person to have on your good side... licking it like ice cream.

Unless of course you count the dude who made the giant snow penis. I'm strangely impressed by that.

Chris said...

I am NOT knocking on the door of that house to get details for you.

Bronwyn Green said...

Awwww, Chris...you're not a fun hater, are you?

Mia, I think you should totally follow up on the cop. Also, I concur with the mesmerizing eyes assessment, but I'm not feeling the urge to smooch on you, though. ;)

Mia Watts said...

Chris is totally a Parade Rainer.

Bron, I know. You just want to "do" my shiny hair. Too bad I no longer streak it. ;) That's okay. You have your addicting qualities too. Like the burning incense smell you wear and the infectious laugh and so many other awesome traits I wish I could bottle.

Chris said...

*yawns*

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