Sunday, January 25, 2009

M/M Excerpt (PG-13), Claimed by Darkness

Second excerpt for J. Mild M/M content.

Excerpt from Claimed by Darkness (Ellora's Cave release, March 4th)
The following excerpt is copyrighted 2009. No reproduction or forwarding of this material may occur without written permission from the publisher and the author. Unauthorized publication of this excerpt will be a violation of the copyright and is punishable but the full extent of the law.

Setup: Damien is a vampire. Rik, his human friend and roommate, has been bitten by a lycan. As Rik begins to change, his more uncontrollable urges surface along with his strength and animal need to dominate. There is blood in the air and Damien is smart enough to know Rik is not himself. Damien has also just explained that vampire biting is sexually charged and with the blood in the air, Damien's prone to act on those impulses.

Rik was silent for a minute. “What if you bit me but didn’t try to change me? Would the were virus hurt you?”
“Not at this stage. Weres and vampires live a cautious existence. We avoid them at full moons but otherwise they live normal humanlike lives the rest of the time. If you don’t want to get bitten, you don’t antagonize them to change between full moons. Hollywood has made them out to be a nightly menace. Very few rogues are out there. Speaking to the virus, we ingest the blood and while it does flow through our veins, the symptoms are different. It’s more of a power surge in early stages. My kind never drinks from a fully converted host. It would sicken us like slow poison and result in death.”
“So it’s a safe high to bite someone like me,” Rik concluded.
The blood coursing beneath the surface of Rik’s skin sounded like a dull roar to Damien. He could smell the slight change in his chemistry but it wasn’t unpleasant. “Yes.”
“Bite me,” Rik commanded softly.
“You lost a lot of blood. Biting you would serve no purpose except as a sexual experiment.” Damien growled. “You will be feeling enough discomfort as the were virus takes hold.”
Rik leaned forward. “I feel fine. Weres have healing properties too, don’t they?” At Damien’s reluctant nod, Rik continued. “Then bite me.”
Damien rose to his feet. The temptation was too great for him to stay in the same room. Rik’s eyes seemed to glow with an inner light. It made Damien pause to look again. Could he be changing so quickly? He turned from his human friend and walked to the door.
It was more instinct than sound which had Damien spinning as Rik pounced on him, throwing Damien against the wall. Rik grabbed his shirt front and snarled in his face. Were-yellow overlaid his blue eyes until they glowed fathomlessly green. Rik was turning faster than usual.
“Bite me.” Rik’s voice dropped to dark tones unlike his natural speaking voice. Like warmed velvet, it wrapped around Damien, and called to his soul.
Damien flashed his fangs in warning. He was already dancing on the edge of sexual predation. “I’m not fucking biting you, Rik. If I bite you now I’m going to fuck your brains out.” He shoved Rik off him, surprised by the unnatural strength in the man. Rik should be passed out or weak, not shifting and careless.
Rik caught his footing and charged again. This time he went for Damien’s throat. Damien deflected, barely. He hissed. Rolling, he pinned Rik to the closed bedroom door. A low growl rumbled from Rik’s throat.
Rik didn’t move but he eyed Damien warily as he drew his face close. “I’d. Fuck. You,” Damien said slowly, making sure Rik understood exactly what the dilemma was.
The were-human’s eyes went wild. “Fucking fuck me already, fucker.”
Damien considered it for a moment. Rik’s cock pressed its swollen length to his abdomen and as Damien debated taking Rik, finally, Rik’s cock pulsed. Damien groaned as every memory of tasting him secondhand flooded his senses. Rik’s pheromones were heady, his erection prepared for a thorough sucking. God, Damien wanted to. He wanted to take that length in his mouth, bite down and bring him off as Rik shot down his throat.
Instead he stepped away. “You don’t want that. You think you do but you’d be pissed when you returned to normal.”
Rik swiped out curled fingers, angrily scoring Damien’s chest. “Don’t tell me what I want, vampire.”
His chest stung from the strike. Damien leaped the distance. Holding Rik’s head roughly to the side, Damien dragged his teeth over Rik’s neck, teasing him. Slowly, he touched the tips to his artery, giving Rik a second to reconsider. Damien’s chest squeezed with need. His cock jerked and Damien sank into his neck.
Rik’s guttural cry of pleasure washed over Damien and he released Rik’s head to do as he chose. Damien didn’t expect Rik to bury on hand in his hair, to hold him in place against his neck. He didn’t expect Rik’s other hand to reach inside Damien’s jeans, wrapping his fingers around his aching penis.

17 comments:

J said...

Okay, that was good stuff, right up until: He wanted to take that length in his mouth, bite down and bring him off as Rik shot down his throat.

Ouch. Ouch. And... ouch. Having been accidentally bitten on the penis by a careless blowjob(er) it is excruciating (call me a wimp if you like). I got a little lost in the Damien/Rik stuff about 2/3rd through(who was doing what to whom) which caused me to have to slow down and read more carefully (not necessarily a bad thing).

Did I mention the part about Ouch? I cannot speak for vampires, but unless you were being orally raped, I can't imagine any guy so cruel that he'd want to bite down on another guy's penis, even if he was prone to providing oral stimulation. Then again, I don't bite into flesh and suck blood, so that's a non-vampiric perspective.'

But seriously... ouch.

Oh, and if you're posting anonymously on my blog to prevent people from crossing from my blog to yours, that doesn't concern me at all. I want you and your writings to succeed in spite of the exploration of penis-biting urges.

Wincing Willy Word: hersa
Hearse
Hearsay
Hers

J said...

So, by way of comparison between the two (oddly), I like the vampire one better as an excerpt, which is a bit of a conflict.

From a pure storyline/intellectual interest, the vampire/lycan thing was engaging and had solid suspension of disbelief. The talk about the were-virus and the effects lent it a degree of credibility. So, I was more engaged by the characters of Damien and Rik and the struggle, than I was of Mina, because her situation seemed more unbelievable (again, forgive me, this feedback is based solely on the excerpts).

From an erotic standpoint, needless to say, the thought of helpless and submissive Mina eagerly seeking the attentions of the doctor while spread-eagled, naked on a table in front of a group of students, was much more powerful for me (tingles in all the right places). If there's a good setup to bring that situation about that doesn't make me cringe in disbelief, then I'm there.

I don't know if that helps or hurts, but that's what I came away with (no pun intended).

Word World: minesse
Madness
Misses
Maseusse
Minute Maid (no clue)
Messes

J said...

Oh, by the way... that was PG-13? Egads, woman! (Yep, that's right, I used the word "Egads"). Been wanting to for a while, finally had a reason.

Weurd: dosest
Doses
Docile
Desist

Mia Watts said...

I laughed so hard I may have snorted regarding the oral biting. Yes, that point stops me to. I wanted to change it but the editor seemed to like. I shall request again before galleys are finished though I believe she (the editor) is rather a kink. I also stopped that excerpt in the middle of a scene. The opening of the book, I feel, has a better sense of writing style. My apologies to your offended "member" though it is the guy receiving that wishes his partner to get, erm, eager.

Your comments on my work are welcome. I value the opinion of all readers as it helps improve my craft.

I think vms are morbid today. Death themes and the like. *shiver*

Mia Watts said...

Am thoroughly amused how many Mia Wattses exist when doing a google search. Hairstylists and Medieval fantasy coordinator. The list continues with facebook and myspace pages which I do not possess. Alas, if you are searching for me, I am not any of those. Good attempt, J.

J said...

I spent all of five minutes and the top lists did not reasonably seem to be you. I also felt a bit like a stalker, though my curiousity got the best of me, and it seems entirely commonplace these days to google everyone and anyone we encounter, or so I've heard. I've googled myself a few times just to see who's out there that has the same name, and what they do with their lives.

I did not understand your reference to VMs at the end of your post (morbid and death?) Sometimes I'm slow to pick up references.

wv: drialist
dry list
realist

Mia Watts said...

vw's have sounded morbid. Mortician, Morte etc. Noting a trend.

Anonymous said...

by the by, I am almost always online while I work on my writing. It occurs to me that not everyone is and my fast replies could seem unusual. However, email notifies me of a post to this blog and therefore, I respond as my excuse to cease other activities.

J said...

I agree. Volkswagens are morbid. I am often online as well, given my occupation and hobbies. I'm contemplating posting the opening to one of my two novels on a new blog, but it would seem the blog environment is counter to novelization, as the newest stuff is always at the top. At this stage of my life, I'm less concerned about getting published and reaping financial rewards, than exercising the craft, and telling a story. One is a true story, the other is fantasy (as in high fantasy, except not so high, more gritty).

Your thoughts? I find myself itching to write.

wv: upearr
appear
up-rear?
uproar
a pear

Mia Watts said...

My first instinct is to complain that by opening a second blog without linking, I'd miss your creative mind at work. Peering into the inner creative workings of another author is always desirable. I think we like to know how the other ticks and see if those same things work for us.

My second is in warning. I know many who have posted pieces on the web only to have them stolen. I only post things that are contracted and copyrighted for that reason. It is still a risk, but more affordable. Your choice, but be warned.

"At this stage of your life." As you have indicated the age of your older brother, I think you are exaggerating on that point. Even at your brother's age, he is not "at that stage". Therefore I can only see this as an attempt at hyperbole.

If however, you are interested in a single person's perspective on your work, you are welcome to email me an excerpt. I'm only one person and my opinion is only as credible as you make it. But the offer stands. -At which point I must make clear to lurkers, the offer is not universal to all. I apologize, however my time is limited at best.-

Or, if you'd like, you can send me an excerpt to post here, on this blog for a general sense of things. I leave it to you.

I shake my head at myself as I do not understand why seeing a comment from you makes my pulse race. I think perhaps it's because you "play along" in the blog commentary game. Often we post without feedback and rarely with such freedom to express. But to put it simply: I'm having fun and thanks to you for it.

I shall end now as it sounds uncharacteristically sappy to have said it. But honesty still reigns.

J said...

I have this weird thing (I won't leave that thought hanging for long)... I hesitate to show you my writing, not because I'm afraid of your feedback or revealing anything, but because you're an editor, and as such you get paid to edit. Asking you to peruse and edit a manuscript would seem like I was asking for a freebie, and I would not feel comfortable imposing, unless I could fairly compensate you, and I have no idea how we would arrange those logistics, and I fear you might be insulted by an offer to pay you.

I can imagine the frustration of seeing visitors to your blog but not having anyone every leave a comment. Even something as simple as, "interesting stuff, keep it up." I have a bit of a background as an artist. I posted a bunch of my work, years ago, on Elfwood. If you're not familiar with it, it's a site where people can post their artwork in their own gallery, and people can comment on the work. I posted my work and looked for feedback. I got almost none. Occasionally, very occasionally, someone would leave a brief comment. Strangely, many, many other galleries got lots of comments. LOTS of encouraging comments. But something about my work seemed to fail to inspire comment. The work is still up there, or at least it was when I last checked a month or so ago, and I hadn't had a comment in years.

There's something about putting your work out there and getting nothing. Silence. Indifference. It's a bit frustrating to say the least, so I feel your pain.

wv: blebb
blab
blabber

Mia Watts said...

There are different ways to edit. Unless I have to edit for minutia, I won't. An author always works on their manuscript, up until the publisher says, "no more" and rip it from our bleeding fingers. My feeling is, you want an opinion, I have many. As I said, it's up to you and I do understand. I'm scary. Terribly, horribly scary. Boo.

anny cook said...

Commentary can be scary indeed, especially if it isn't even close to what you were expecting. Or if the reader sees something in the work that you have no idea that you put there.

Mia Watts said...

Like being exposed? Emotions left raw like all your naked baggage in a cold wind? Hm. I see your point, Ms. Cook.

Have you bared yourself unintentionally before?

wv: forstrog
foreskin
frog pond
four strong

Anny Cook said...

Certainly. All writers have.

J said...

I think it's inevitably that the more you invest in your writing, the greater the likelihood that something you didn't mean to show through your writing rears its head, ugly or otherwise.

wv: pulfsks
I got nuttin'

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