Rant Reversal

Last week I did a dating rant. My blog shoots out to Facebook and one of the Facebook commenters nailed me with a statement about that being why men hate women. I of course responded and then she clarified that women who complain about what men do wrong without telling them what they do, or could do, correctly, are the reason that men hate women.

To be fair, I completely understand her point. Thank you, Jen Sexton, for the constructive criticism. I still profess that my rant was more about looking ridiculous than slamming the male of our species. I'm sure there are plenty of female daters out there that are just as needy and pathetic looking. I'm guessing, however, that not one of them is holding aloft a large mouth bass as she squints, unwashed, into the blistering sunshine. Or kissing her "guns". Or posting a picture of her naked torso. But perhaps she is puckering and winking which is just as bad, or holding up her breasts in offering.... okay, I'm getting sidetracked again. Hey, shit happens.

This post is on BEHALF of men everywhere. I'm thinking this is a two-parter because I have this phrase I love, cross-stitched by my bestie, Bronwyn Green, "Ignorance does not provide immunity", which must follow the bellow posting.

Men. I love men. They are delicious and strong. Scrawny and dorky. Handsome and clever (especially the guy I'm going out with tomorrow--remember the CL poster of wonder? Yeah, him).

Men are being sold short. Open any magazine, turn on any tv station and you see ad after ad of moronic men. In an ad for a paper towel, a dad and his kids make a huge mess in the kitchen. He holds his hands up with a blank worried look, "What do I do?" motion. A car drives up--seen through the window--and mom walks in the kitchen from a long day at work. She looks at the mess and the husband, smiles fondly at them, "Kids, gotta love 'em" (as though the husband is lumped in with the kids) and then cleans up the man's mess with the fabu-paper towels.

Any sitcom where the man sits around either unemployed, out of work, or just that damn lazy while his wife juggles work, life, kids, family, dinner, housecleaning, and all the chores that the lazy ass didn't do but possibly started.

Any moment of gift-giving where he produces a beautiful diamond studded something-or-other where the woman falls all over herself with love. The message... despite the ass I always am (because, honey, I know I'm exactly like all those TV dudes since this ad sits between them and the shows where men are unproductive family potatoes), I can throw money at you and make it all better. Aren't I special, sweetie? Here's a diamond ring, too.

Men are not stupid. Men aren't all lazy (though I base this purely on the trusted word of friends). Men don't all add to the chaos of a woman's life. They aren't. I guess that's why when I'm looking to date one, it annoys the snot out of me when they play to the stereo-type. That's not the man I want. Mine... well, they show up in my books. Unfortunately mine are also gay.

Sigh.

Anyway, that's my anti-rant, such as it is.